Among the many things the Brits left behind is a litany of curious terms and phrases. The ones to top my RankleList - "Yours Obediently" (yup, look up Wren & Martin), "Gripe Water" and ..."Privileged Leave". I suppose most of their origins could be worked out. What's been a little puzzling for me has been the last one. Try as I might, no leads. Till last Sunday.
The watchman knocks, and informs me, "Mangala( our maid) ne khabar diya.. aaj woh nahi aayegi. Parson se zaroor aayegi." Noticing me turn sullen he added, helpfully, "Unki beti guzar gayi, kal raat".
And true enough Mangala was at work Wednesday morning, 8 am (half hour late). No melodrama. No tears. Just rang the bell, walked-in and quietly resumed her routine.
Mangala is what you would call fashionably, a Single Working Mom.
4 kids. Alcoholic/missing/abusive/all-of-the-above husband. Father - cancer, at her home. A year ago, her 8 year old (and brightest) daughter is also diagnosed with cancer. For a whole year she has taken her for chemo. She couldn't afford chemo for her father and daughter. She, stoically, chose daughter. Never once did she discuss her plight or hint at an "advance". Never once did she skip work for this reason. Until it was all over. And until she took 3 days off from work.
I think I now know what Privileged Leave means. Privileged to give her Leave.
Monday, September 24, 2007
Saturday, September 15, 2007
"..and the seat next to me is empty."
Almost all noble souls who have attained Nirvana have listed years of rigor and penance as Syllabus for its attainment . I have had it easy. It came and slapped me on my face and went on its way.
There was this Lakme ad that ran on TV a few years ago. Its set in a plane. Our Hero is sitting right at the back ( in Economy , didn't telecheck earlier for front seat, loser ). And he sees a woman enter the plane . And can't help notice how beautiful she is , and as she walks closer he is hoping she'll sit next to him in the empty seat... yadda yadda yadda.( To cut a long story s, she does).
Cut to me . A decade later. Sitting in the Subway.Riding upto Penn Station from SoHo ,no less. Lady WASP gets in carrying groceries . All seats are taken save the couple next to me. She rides 10 minutes. All the way to Penn . And doesn't take the empty seat.
My friend smirks when I recount later. "Its not you", he says. "Its your beard". Being brown and bearded in NY today is tough. How would I know? I am just a paapan who grew up in Madras.
There was this Lakme ad that ran on TV a few years ago. Its set in a plane. Our Hero is sitting right at the back ( in Economy , didn't telecheck earlier for front seat, loser ). And he sees a woman enter the plane . And can't help notice how beautiful she is , and as she walks closer he is hoping she'll sit next to him in the empty seat... yadda yadda yadda.( To cut a long story s, she does).
Cut to me . A decade later. Sitting in the Subway.Riding upto Penn Station from SoHo ,no less. Lady WASP gets in carrying groceries . All seats are taken save the couple next to me. She rides 10 minutes. All the way to Penn . And doesn't take the empty seat.
My friend smirks when I recount later. "Its not you", he says. "Its your beard". Being brown and bearded in NY today is tough. How would I know? I am just a paapan who grew up in Madras.
Friday, August 24, 2007
Terminal Sweetness
Hearing a commotion at the check-in counter, Salman Khan bounds up and offers help for this Dubai bound duo in distress at the Mumbai airport. (What’s the world coming to – Pete Doherty stops by to help an accident victim. Gold Coast Hospital wants to give the good doc his job back. And now this?) Back to the Distressed Duo. Their source of distress – inability to pay excess baggage. And so the ever generous Mr. Khan offers to have the ‘excess’ luggage tagged onto his name as he was traveling light. Duo delighted. Staff happy. Salman a hero. Muaah,muaah all around. Now I have a question – did the airline lady ask Salman "Have you packed the bags yourself ,Sir? Has anyone given you anything to carry ?"Half my kingdom for the answer.
PS: Of course the ‘excess’ luggage presumably gets priority cleared in Dubai (VIP luggage (sic!) after all). Duo then collects luggage. And are on their way. Interesting to know what was in them suitcases !
To err is human .To erase ,er..divine
Having been brought up in old school advertising, there was a shibboleth that was drilled into every one of us who had strayed into the agency business. It went something like this – a Doctor's mistake is buried six feet below the ground, a lawyer's hangs six feet above and , hold your breath , an AE’s is there in the morning paper for the whole world to laugh at .
Yup. And am referring to that four-letter abbrev which sent shivers down every self respecting AE/AD/Copywriter/CD of yore. The TYPO. So what’s the big deal? You may well ask. Today correct spelling is perhaps as antiquated a concept as Kores Whitening fluid. (Sniff, sniff, miss it so much).
Anyway to cut a long story s, there’s one in the Mango blog. And was pointed out politely by a well wisher. (He is now officially entitled to one more drink!) . Since he was kind enough to do it offline, I am tempted to thank him offline. When pointing it out, he also (gently, mind you) pointed out that we bloggers (that’s right, we) don’t quietly use the aforementioned Kores product, but actually use a pen, and scratch it out or overwrite on it. (Now I know why Kores went kaput). So, without further ado, I correct the error of my ways. Thank you, Mr. Anant Ranagaswami. ( But spelt Rangaswami !)You are the wind beneath this pig’s wings.
Yup. And am referring to that four-letter abbrev which sent shivers down every self respecting AE/AD/Copywriter/CD of yore. The TYPO. So what’s the big deal? You may well ask. Today correct spelling is perhaps as antiquated a concept as Kores Whitening fluid. (Sniff, sniff, miss it so much).
Anyway to cut a long story s, there’s one in the Mango blog. And was pointed out politely by a well wisher. (He is now officially entitled to one more drink!) . Since he was kind enough to do it offline, I am tempted to thank him offline. When pointing it out, he also (gently, mind you) pointed out that we bloggers (that’s right, we) don’t quietly use the aforementioned Kores product, but actually use a pen, and scratch it out or overwrite on it. (Now I know why Kores went kaput). So, without further ado, I correct the error of my ways. Thank you, Mr. Anant Ranagaswami. ( But spelt Rangaswami !)You are the wind beneath this pig’s wings.
Saturday, August 18, 2007
In Edison, will there always be Light ?
Edison , New Jersey. Yes ,it is true. You can pick up a handful of soil here and (gleefully) sing "mere desh ki dharti".Its Sunday , August 12. And the main street is closed for India Day Parade. Banners and posters herald 60 glorious years of Independence, urge patriotic ( L1 's , B 1's married to H1B's also welcome ) citizens to turn up and participate in the parade and make the community proud.And since there is no free lunch in these parts , a tryst with Urmila Matondkar and Manish Malhotra is promised as a token of appreciation at the ensuing Carnival. (The Henderson's will dance and sing as Mr Kite flies through the ring , don't be late ").
The Parade was quite entertaining. Lots of Floats. And music . And the usual costume drama.
Along came the kicker . A Float titled "Shivji ka Rath " . Chants. Clangs. Clamour et al.And riding on the float was the erstwhile resident of Kailash . Looking distinctly uncomfortable (and perhaps regretting having traded his Carbon-neutral abode for the Garden State) was what looked like a blue-painted young lad. The neo-Liberal in me was angry . This is not India . Especially not 60-glorious-year-Independent-India ( Even a school kid knows, the India we we want to showcase is Carter Road Coffee Day ). "How will this look if NYT or Time cover this?", I muttered under my breath.
I stop for some beer.
And make my way to the Carnival . Which is being held in a nice open yard. At the corner of the yard , under the shade of an Oak tree is a statue . Of St Cecilia. A plaque on the statue politely notifies us that the yard belongs to the Roman Catholic Church , Edison. And offers ( in addition to salvation ), free use of its yard. Parked next to the statue is The Float. Leaning against the float ,under the shade of the Oak tree ,next to the statue, is a blue-painted young lad. Gurgling a ( Large) Coke.
Hang in there ,Cecilia .
The Parade was quite entertaining. Lots of Floats. And music . And the usual costume drama.
Along came the kicker . A Float titled "Shivji ka Rath " . Chants. Clangs. Clamour et al.And riding on the float was the erstwhile resident of Kailash . Looking distinctly uncomfortable (and perhaps regretting having traded his Carbon-neutral abode for the Garden State) was what looked like a blue-painted young lad. The neo-Liberal in me was angry . This is not India . Especially not 60-glorious-year-Independent-India ( Even a school kid knows, the India we we want to showcase is Carter Road Coffee Day ). "How will this look if NYT or Time cover this?", I muttered under my breath.
I stop for some beer.
And make my way to the Carnival . Which is being held in a nice open yard. At the corner of the yard , under the shade of an Oak tree is a statue . Of St Cecilia. A plaque on the statue politely notifies us that the yard belongs to the Roman Catholic Church , Edison. And offers ( in addition to salvation ), free use of its yard. Parked next to the statue is The Float. Leaning against the float ,under the shade of the Oak tree ,next to the statue, is a blue-painted young lad. Gurgling a ( Large) Coke.
Hang in there ,Cecilia .
Thursday, August 16, 2007
Apples and Oranges..and Mangoes for good measure
Last weekend, I am at the Fresh Produce section in a supermarket - Somerset, NJ - helping my friend get his groceries. I notice heaps of golden Alphonso's ( read as Alphonsos). Happily cushioned in confetti . Stacked next to these mangoes are these bright red and yellow cartons emblazoned "Indian Nectar" with pictures of Mangoes looking like something a 6-year old would draw. ( Yup, that's our branding for you). But that's not the point. They were being retailed at USD 6/- per dozen . And Granny Smith apples from Washington being sold at USD 10 per dozen !! So the Indian mangoes grown in the bowels of Maharashtra ,trucked and air freighted 8000 miles across the globe sells lower than apples grown in NJ's backyard ( OK, figuratively speaking) . My wise friend tells me that's market forces at play . Well, I return ( to Bombay), wiser .
We go shopping to Spencer's in Bandra. ( I know what you're thinking. Between visits to grocers , I do go manage to go to office ). And Washington Apples are being sold at Rs 80/Kg. And Shimla apples - Rs 120 /kg ! More market forces at play !
Bananas , anyone ?
We go shopping to Spencer's in Bandra. ( I know what you're thinking. Between visits to grocers , I do go manage to go to office ). And Washington Apples are being sold at Rs 80/Kg. And Shimla apples - Rs 120 /kg ! More market forces at play !
Bananas , anyone ?
Friday, August 3, 2007
Sorry Amar.Sorry Akbar.Anthony is the Chosen One
Every now and then there is the e mail that does the rounds...x % of Microsoft employees are Indians, y % of Intel scientists are Indians , Z % of IBM are Indians, w % of NASA scientists are Indians.....blah blah. New age jingoism ,I suppose. While the numbers look decidedly suspicious its effect on the products they develop is iffy. Sure Microsoft spells it Chennai ( not Madras) , Mumbai ( oh ,you get the drift ,don't you ?) ,Kolkota . Hmmmm...not surprised if there are allegedly so many Indians out there. Now Nokia T9 . That's another story. It 'spells'John. Paul.George.Mary( And yes, Anthony). So the dictionary is preloaded with these names. But try spelling Ramesh, Suresh,Ganesh,Ali,Ahmed,Yusuf.... And you need to start using your ingenuity to spell them.Hello, Nokia. 60% + share in India. And one would have thought spelling the names of customers right is Direct Marketing 101 ! By the way neither does Blogger /Google spellcheck recognize any of the 'Asian' names. No Indians there or wot ?
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